By Yatindra Bhatnagar

As the New Year 2011 dawned we reached, sort of, a landmark - 25 years in the United States. We landed in New York from Mumbai (it was still Bombay) on the first of January, 1986 and arrived in Los Angeles late night after missing the connecting flight. Since then America is our home, adopted home, and after a quarter century of ups and downs, cheers and tears and a wide variety of experience we never imagined while in India, we are not going anywhere.

This is like a short account of our lives for the last 25 years and a time of reflection, of what we missed and what we gained.

Before we arrived in New York's JFK airport our older daughter Sujata, her husband Mujtaba Roashan, our younger daughter Seema, and the big Roashan family and the bigger extended families had no idea about our coming to the US. Sujata had married Mujtaba in 1982 in Los Angeles for which we four had come, and returned to India with Seema. Sujata visited us in Indore in September 1985 with her daughter Tamanna, just 9 months old. After an eventful and memorable two months she returned to the US, also with Seema, leaving Sadhana and me behind to ponder our future.

When Sujata arrived in Indore, where I was working as Chief Editor of Dainik Bhaskar (now the leading newspaper chain in India), Sadhana and I had no idea that just after a few months we would leave India in a self-imposed exile and be away from the Motherland for 25 long years. God must have planned all that without even giving us a hint about it.

Tomorrow is always a mystery!

It was quite late at night when we reached Los Angeles airport (LAX, as it is known) and were most pleasantly surprised to find a three-car load welcoming party. [We had called from New York to give Mujtaba the surprise that we were at JFK and would take the first available flight to LAX. It was just a few hours notice.] There was one of the most memorable welcomes we had, full of warmth, love and an assurance that we would be taken care of.

One of the first things Mujtaba said to us was: "From today you are my responsibility." Through all ups and downs, hopping between Greater Los Angeles area and San Francisco Bay area three times, those words have sustained us for a quarter of a century. The words were backed up by deed.

Sujata and Mujtaba were then living in a small two-bedroom apartment with his Mother and older brother Mustafa's 12-year-old son Fawad (the oldest of the four brothers) and Tamanna. Seema was added a couple months back and now they had two more. The place was small but there was a big heart to accommodate all of us and shower us with love and respect.

We had a roof over us and plenty of food to eat. Though it was a little uneasy feeling to live with our daughter and her in-laws there was no other option at that time. We had nothing to fall back on in India and no job prospects here in the immediate future. But the support system created and provided by Mujtaba and Sujata was formidable to sustain Sadhana, me and Seema for years.

The help we expected from some others did not come; it confirmed my notion that one must not expect things, if they come fine, if not, don't complain. That gave us strength and we ourselves tried to find more avenues to make things work.

They did.

Sadhana, Seema and I had to start somewhere, accept whatever came up and make the most of it. There was no use sulking, complaining or going into depression. Far from that, we were determined to engage in fruitful endeavors and always remember that "No work is too small, or demeaning." We lived up to that saying and continued with a smile.

The years rolled by with problems and solutions, jobs and unemployment, good jobs and not-so-good, good employers and not-so-good, but we ploughed on. On the way there was a wide variety of jobs and experiences of work, workers, bosses and working conditions. We accepted them all and even made a mark wherever we worked.
In India Sadhana did not have to work and I tried to give her the best I could. At one time we had four domestic help. Sadhana often did radio programs and wrote articles and poems, did painting, attended parties and entertained guests. Here things were entirely different and she had to look for a job, any job. Seema also did the same and in that process got to know Greg Johnston, one time her boss, and later married him. She moved to St. Louis (Missouri) from Los Angeles area leaving us; had a son Arjun, going to be 17 soon.

Some years later, Seema moved to Houston (Texas) to marry Randeep Suneja, a successful doctor from an adorable family. They have lovely twin daughters, now three-year-old, and our life-line. We left California and moved to Houston for these twin angels.

Tamanna married a long-time choice, Khushal. The little baby we saw grow up is now a lovely woman with hectic schedule of making people more beautiful - brides more lovely than they really are. She is a talented Cosmetologist with a huge clientele.

During these 25 years there were problems - immigration, litigation, health and others. Mujtaba's health was the biggest but excellent medical help and God's grace took care of all that. Greg was also there for us when we needed him and still prefers to remain our Beta (son). We lost some relatives - here and in India - and know all that's as a part of God's scheme.

After 22 years in California with or near the Roashans, we moved to Katy, a new area in the Greater Houston to be near Seema, Randeep and Nisha-Shivani. The relocation was not easy on us, or on Mujtaba-Sujata-Tamanna. The important thing is our kids and we are very close.

Sadhana still has her health problems; I have nothing major. Some things do continue but what continues for us most is God's grace and the love and respect our kids give us in ample measure.

What Mujtaba told us on our first day in California - and he and Sujata have lived up to what was said - is re-echoed by Randeep and Seema here in Houston. They bought a beautiful house for us and fully furnished it. With Randeep as a son-in-law we also got his Mother Ushaji, older brother Dr. Pradeep and his wife Dr. Amita along with their two charming daughters, Saumya and Priya, to make a loving and close extended family. We are a very close, and very dear, big family, the kind everyone should have but not many do. We are indeed blessed.

In the last 25 years we visited India only twice (Sadhana did it three times.) We wanted to visit more often. Still do, but Sadhana's health doesn't permit. We have emotional attachment with India, the land of our birth, ancestry and heritage, and a big extended family there.

There are also memories of my first 57 years, reaching heights of excellence and top position in my profession of journalism, of writing books, and knowing/mingling with top people in a wide variety of professions. For Sadhana, there were 46 years of varied experiences, including uprooting from a prosperous life and huge home in what is now a part of Pakistan to the opportunity of frequently rubbing shoulders with the top political and diplomatic elite.

In the United States, that life couldn't be replicated. However, we had our opportunities with me getting top jobs with newsmagazines and Sadhana also getting reasonable good jobs. As I wrote earlier, she did not have to get a job in India - I tried to treat her like a Maharani. I succeeded to an extent and we recall those years with smiles on our faces.

When we came to the US it was the year of our 25th wedding anniversary; this year Sadhana and I will complete half a century together. This may seem strange that we have two major anniversary-events away from our Motherland, but we are happy that we are near our closest family. After 25 years here, and having such dear and near ones full of love and respect for us, all we could say is "Jeena yahaan, marna yahaan, iske siva jaana kahaan" (live and die here, where else would we go).

May God continue to be kind to us and may He continue to shower His blessings on all our dear and near ones.