By Yatindra Bhatnagar

Our granddaughter, Tamanna Roashan (daughter of Sujata and Mujtaba), got married to Khushal, son of Sabir and Hashima (Saida) Aqmal, last month in a glittering ceremony in Los Angeles. [Last year the engagement was at the magnificent Canyon View Dining Hall in San Francisco Bay Area city of San Ramon, another memorable event.] We flew to LA from Houston, along with the Suneja family (our younger daughter Seema, her hubby Dr. Randeep and their twin angels, Nisha and Shivani, who will be three in December). Nishu-Shanu's Arjun Bhaiyya joined later for his Tannu Didi's big day.

The flight to Los Angeles and, two days later, the drive with the remaining Roashan family to the Bay Area in the North were nice except the fact that we are getting old, and were not in the best of health. But we had to go as Tamanna, whom we saw grow up, was, finally, getting married and our absence was unacceptable.

We also realized that when the third generation gets married it's sure sign that you are old, especially when your spouse is not keeping well and, for a change, you are yourself down with something. That's why we didn't enjoy the beautiful ceremonies and the large gathering of relatives and friends - some meeting after years - as much as we should have, and looked forward to.

That apart, the marriage took us back to nearly a quarter century we spent with or near Tamanna and her Mom and Dad - three of the most precious members of our close-knit family. The others are Seema-Randeep, the lovely twins who have stolen our hearts, and our only grandson, Arjun. Hope Tamanna's kids, whenever they come, would be the same for their grand parents.

We have seen Tamanna grow from a bubbly infant to a beautiful and talented young woman we love dearly. However, the birth of Nisha and Shivani made us relocate to Houston. We were in California for 22 years and it was hard for Tamanna to see us leave; for us and Sujata-Mujtaba too. But babies do get preference.

Tamanna's marriage reception at the lovely De Luxe Banquet Hall, in Burbank (Los Angeles) and a couple of related functions were fabulous. The overwhelming part, apart from all around love and affection, joy and gaiety, music and dance, was the variety of food that kept on coming, and in huge quantities. No wonder the saying was again confirmed that "a man's heart is through his stomach."

At the wedding reception Tamanna looked stunning with her flowing gown and winsome smile. The groom, too, looked handsome. The big gathering joyfully listened to the songs/music by one of famous singers in Farsi, and enthusiastically danced to the lilting tunes for hours.

I was asked to read/speak a few words but as I was unwell, I hardly knew what I was reading or speaking. I couldn't hear myself - partly also as I had become virtually deaf because of the extremely loud music the younger lot was enjoying, and I couldn't.

You know this is the problem of old age - you don't enjoy loud music, howsoever beautiful it might be, and you also don't hear if something sweet is whispered in your ears, soothingly. But forget it, that's an unimportant digression.

There were relatives and friends we had not seen for years. Some came from thousands of miles to join in the festivities. The occasion was memorable, as was the one last year in San Ramon in the North hosted by Tamanna's parents at the exquisitely beautiful place. Don't try and make an estimate about the cost of all those functions - Tamanna would always get what she wanted. She carries a trump card: "I am your only child." That has worked more often than not. Her in-laws too went along realizing that they were adding a "special" daughter-in-law to their family.

After the festivities the next day, the Suneja family spent a night in Los Angeles with an old friend, Deepak and Bhavna Nayar, and their big dogs that the kids loved. The next day they went to San Diego for the twins to meet with dolphins. From whatever the little angels told us they had a blast; it was confirmed by their parents.

We drove with the Roashans to their San Leandro home in the North for the rest of the week. We had planned to spend five days visiting with several old friends, eating at favorite restaurants, and shopping at familiar places. But our health didn't want all that. We did whatever was possible, met special friends Nirmala and Surya Gunturi, and, of course, managed to attend a couple of dinners to meet other relatives and friends. It was lovely but hectic.

I don't recall being unwell for that long. [It continued for about three weeks.] Sadhana too was quite sick but we did survive. We returned to Houston with some unfulfilled plans and not well, physically. Yes, with our condition we could not fully enjoy all the delightful festivities. But that's the punishment of old age and sickness. But still, we thank God for His mercies and blessings that we did not visit hospitals and could participate in almost all events.

The Doctor in the Family (Randeep) has advised Sadhana not to undertake any travel in the foreseeable future. I was (theoretically still ‘am') keen to visit India next year but there is a big ‘if,' for me too to a certain extent. But, again, that's also in the future and nobody knows about it. Why worry about it now.

Hopefully, there is no marriage, or a similar occasion, in the near future, for us to fly or drive hundreds of miles. [With the body-scanner and thorough pat-down flying is scarier.] The one who is in line to get married [though hasn't found a suitable boy as yet], has been told in so many words that for us to attend the marriage it has to be in Houston area. The other option is to go ahead without us, or to remain single. Neither is acceptable to anyone, including us. But, again, who knows about the future? Do you hear, Lena?

[Lena's older sister, Valleri and her husband Nirav Patel, were also at the reception. They are our children. We did ‘kanyadaan' of Valleri, representing her Father, Dr. Santosh Kumar, a very dear friend who is no more. Didn't see Valleri's baby Jaiden who was home. Another dear family of the Kashyaps, another Sadhana, husband Rakesh and their daughters, Shelley and Raashi, also came. They are also our children.]

I was also happy to meet some of Sujata's friends and co-workers from Kaiser Permanente medical center. There was Bet and Mike; incidentally Bet is the first person on this planet to prick my finger, years back, and declare that my sugar level was fine. Thanks Bet! There was Gina and her sister Trudy, Robyn and George, Princess-Marvin and their son Tre. He must have liked me as I felt he gave me a smile. These valued friends are a source of strength and support to Sujata who never tires of talking about them. I gave them a piece of my unsolicited advice about life, in a small frame. Hope they liked it.

After the festivities and celebration of Tamanna's marriage and other ceremonies were over and people started going back home, there certainly was the empty-nest feeling; more so with the parents of the bride. This is natural, though the parents of girls themselves look forward to their daughters getting married and going away some day. That day had come for us, twice, and it was the turn of our own daughter Sujata, and Mujtaba. The redeeming feature is that, for now, Tamanna and Khushal have taken an apartment just a few miles from the Roashan home.

[A poem ‘Time to Leave the Nest' is in the poetry section]

PS: Marriages do bring about a sea-change in the lives, manner, behavior and routine of many people. Tamanna's room at her parent's home was always in a mess, its condition looked like a severe tornado had just visited. Her known ability to cook was limited to Noodles. The regular option was either the Mom doing it or put the chefs at Jack in the Box, McDonald's or the like to work.

Now we hear things are absolutely different. Not only the new apartment is well kept, and things organized, but the restaurant chefs are afraid of losing their jobs. Only the other day, we are told, she cooked several tasty dishes and went straight to the hearts of her visiting in-laws also through their stomachs. Tamanna has definitely grown to be an all-round accomplished and talented young woman. We are happy and proud of this change and wish her, and Khushal, all the best.

11/29/2010